Unsolicited advice

[Nano]

Last week I was walking Connor and ran into a woman I've met before with her dog. We were talking and out of the blue she points to Connor and says, "You should 'down' him so he learns who's boss." "He doesn't need to be downed." "They have to learn who's boss." She wouldn't stop going on about it.

Today a bunch of dogs met up on a walk. The dogs were milling around greeting each other. Connor was behaving fine but this guy says to me, "You should get a Gentle Leader for him." "He doesn't need it." "You should get one. My dog's trainer said those buckle collars are not good for their necks." "Connor isn't a puller." "It doesn't matter. Those collars aren't good for them." Then he is going to give Connor a treat so he DOES ask him to sit which is good but then he keeps saying, "Stay. Stay. Stay." That is not the appropriate command and he shouldn't be repeating it. As we all walked down the street, I stopped Connor on the corner and asked him to sit. He usually does it automatically but sometimes with other dogs, he'll need the command. "That's hard to teach them," the guy says. "He knows to sit at the corner." "By himself?" "Yes." "I just think of my dogs as pets." What does THAT mean?

I don't want to be rude to these people but SHUT UP! I'm not asking for your advice, you have no business telling me how to train my dog and frankly, your dog isn't as well behaved as mine but I don't tell you what to do. I ignore these people's advice and try to let it just wash off but it really irritates me when they start ' training' (and confusing) my dog!

I don't understand why this keeps happening. It's not like Connor is racing around, pulling and jumping. He's very well behaved - especially for a six month old puppy. A a very big puppy, too!

How do you handle situations like this?

[Meadow]

I face this a lot. I tend to bitch about it at home to my family when I reach home, hahaha. BTW, the flat buckle collar is, according to Faith's trainer, the *best* collar to have. It's not a training collar, but it's what each dog should eventually graduate to. If Connor minds you well in it, then you are doing what a lot of people haven't gotten to yet.

I have more of a problem with people who do NOT train their dogs, stop their aggression, pick up their dogs poop, etc. There was a woman the other day in the dog park with a breed I had never heard of - it was a mid-sized herding dog. She said, "He is quite fierce!" I'm thinking, "Umm.... what's he doing in HERE?!" Sure enough, he went after a sweet Golden Doodle that Faith likes to play with, and the Golden Doodle ran under the picnic table to excape being attacked. The woman had the GALL to say to the Golden Doodle, "Scardy cat!" with disgust in her voice. WHAT???!!!!!!!!

Today, I was at the off-leash dog park, with Faith, 2 chocolate labs and 2 black labs. I saw the one black lab pooping, and I was picking up Faith's poop at the time, about 6' away. I called to the group of humans, "Black lab pooping here!" They all turned. They all looked. Then they all returned to their discussion. WHAT???!!!!! NO ONE picked it up, and I don't pick up *other dog's* poop - only Faith's.

One dominant male was badly humping the other dogs - I mean hanging on and going to town. There were already 2 brief fights because the dogs being humped were dominant females. I was the one giving the unsoliticited advice at that point. I said to the man, "That behaviour should be stopped. It's not sexual - it's DOMINANT. It's going to cause problems to let that continue". He looked at me like I was stupid, and lamely said to his dog, "Baxter... Baxter..."

Soon - as if I had a crystal ball - Baxter humped the one black lab one too many times, and a massive dog fight broke out. The owner of Baxter STILL did nothing, and the owner of the black lab SMACKED her dog, shouting stupid things like, "You don't fight, do you HEAR ME! DO YOU HEAR ME?!!"

Karli, Faith and I left.

What YOU experienced is stupid people who give advice to a GOOD dog and an EXCELLENT consciencious owner. What I experienced was giving GOOD advice to STUPID dog owners. I rarely give unsolicited advice, but come on - Pick up your dog's poop! And do NOT allow aggressive-dominant behaviour! What's the MATTER with people!

Stand confident next time, Nancy - just like you did. Saying "He doesn't need to be downed" is all that's needed. They can walk away, disappointed that you didn't punish your good dog, and go on believing they have the secret to training... and they can keep their UNtrained dogs. Because from what I experienced, they don't listen - and they won't listen to you telling them why you use a certain collar, or train a certain way.

Like you, I generally just come home frustrated, lol. I don't have a lot of confidence to argue my point with people. So I just walk away. Someone like that is not with our time. I'm sorry for your frustrating experiences.

~Maureen

[Nano]

At least I'm not the only one going through this. BTW, alerting people to their dog's waste and requesting that an owner stop their dog from humping are both responsible behaviours. Not the same as unsolicited advice. Good for you!

Lazy 'pooper scoopers' are breaking the law. And you're right; some people don't understand that humping is far more a behavioural issue than sexual. There's a dog that plays with Connor in the park who is a relentless humper and always goes after Misty (a spayed Toller). The dog is small, but I can't imagine how annoying it is to Misty. She is such a tolerant dog that she doesn't nip or snarl at the dog. Her owner keeps asking the other dog's owner to stop his dog but he finds it funny. It's NOT funny.

Connor has done some half hearted humping behaviour but he's only tried it on me in the house. Right from the start I told him NO firmly and pulled him off. Then I walked away and ignored him. He got the message. Of course, I'm sure his hormones haven't fully kicked in yet so I'm bracing myself for the day when I have to start pulling him off other dogs. He's not a very dominant dog so I'm hoping (fingers crossed) it won't be too much of an issue.

Sounds like you're visting the off leash park more these days. Is Faith enjoying playing with the other (well behaved) dogs?

[cheslyn1]

Nancy what you experienced was pure jealousy I think. Connor the puppy is more trained, etc than their dog will ever be.

Keep working with Connor to get what you want in your dog - take kindly given advise into consideration. (actually when it comes to training for a dog sport...the advice you will get will mostly likely be something 'you' need to change, improve not Connor LOL)

Does you trainer suggest you do not even use the word stay? I know a few people that train that way. The idea is to train that the last command is obeyed until another is given. These people will use a release word to end the 'stay' instead.

I am very scared for the person who thinks a dog should be put in a down to know who is the boss....he tries that with the wrong dog, he will be bite.

Maureen - that is awful. I have not experienced such rudeness before at the park. Here the big dog parks are patroled regularly by by-law officers....maybe you should suggest a time and place they can visit your park when these people are there.

[gpbarr1]

Well it's like people who tell us how to raise our children...based on their own experiences. Every family is different so what works with one family would not necessarily work with another, yet people will offer their advice based on their own experiences even though it may not be relevant to our own circumstances. I guess it is human nature to offer advice to someone else and is usually done without giving too much thought to what is going to pass over the lips. I think people mean well when they give advice but don't take the time to say it eloquently so it often gets misconstrued as a rude comment. Bite your lip and keep your head held high..you know your dog's needs best of anyone and you are ultimately the person who is responsible for the dog's actions, not them!

[Meadow]

Well it's like people who tell us how to raise our children...based on their own experiences. Every family is different so what works with one family would not necessarily work with another, yet people will offer their advice based on their own experiences even though it may not be relevant to our own circumstances. I guess it is human nature to offer advice to someone else and is usually done without giving too much thought to what is going to pass over the lips. I think people mean well when they give advice but don't take the time to say it eloquently so it often gets misconstrued as a rude comment. Bite your lip and keep your head held high..you know your dog's needs best of anyone and you are ultimately the person who is responsible for the dog's actions, not them!

I love this response!!! I agree wholeheartedly. When I think of the advice I got when my kids were born, I remember getting some pretty kooky advice. I would just thank the person, but going on to do what I felt was best with my kids. You are RIGHT - it's people advising based on what they have done, and it's meant to be helpful - even if it's not, haha.
~Maureen